Help!"My child’s teacher is asking me to visit us...at home?”

As an educator with sixteen years of teaching experience in rural and urban districts, I had a unique year--far beyond what I could imagine about four years ago. My teaching style and cultural awareness became amplified when I started visiting students’ homes as a new approach for family engagement in our school district. Of course, I thought it was a unique idea that made sense as an educator--and a parent. I realized how much education had changed in America since I was a student with the nuances of policy initiatives like No Child Left Behind (NCLB), ESSA (Every Student Succeeds Act), and the adoption of a new Common Core Standards curriculum. Research suggests that when educators are consciously seeking to communicate with families; student achievement is significantly impacted. Previously, I would walk students home on several occasions, to meet with parents for a new contact number or ensure an important notice was received. But this was different, my goal was to visit 24 homes without mentioning academics! Yikes!

Yes, no discussion of test updates or behavior concerns at all.

Why are we visiting homes? Isn’t meeting during normal conferences or “Back to School Night” enough?

Not at all. Often, scheduling conflicts prevent parents from attending and at times, you may never meet a parent or caregiver for conferences until March--far too late when you are concerned about the student’s progress.

Meeting in the home is ideal. There’s nothing like being invited into the space where the student is familiar and the parents --instead of the teachers feel empowered. Let’s face it--schools can be intimidating and full of rules (and some bad memories of rules and negative teacher interactions) that some of us still carry as adults. One reason why I refuse to grade in “red pen.” When educators meet with parents and caregivers at home or a local coffee shop, it is considered “neutral ground” and we establish ourselves as equal partners in what’s best for our students.

Most schools in America are operating from a middle class socioeconomic status (SES). That means that the staff, often administrators, and even support personnel have a basic set of assumptions and that would mirror middle class household values and principles. How does this impact our interactions? Well, let’s say that in our background, education was valued and highly spoken of, and there were no other distractions, or outside activities which interfered with acquiring mastery of the subjects in school. So, your parents bought books,bookcases, took frequent library trips, trips for vacations, and even had a computer for your use. There would be a designated space for study. If they attended college, they would often speak to you about you attending college. All of these characteristics would accompany such status.

However, if you didn’t have an adult at home with the ability or access to using the library or having a computer with stable WiFi at home, you wouldn’t have the reinforcement of support, nor the supply of various print materials at home.

As educators, we have to check our assumptions (since we as humans have them), and having to be open to learning from the family “in the moment” allows you to deal with “facts.” More often than not, we are instructing a diverse student population. Students who do not share our cultural, ethnic, or linguistic background. The home visit is a time for families to get to know you as an educator in a different light. Plus, for you to know them as the backbone of their child’s success. They are the experts as parents and guardians of their children. Starting the year valuing their parental input and hearing their goals and dreams for their children makes for a clear opening into a growing relationship for the year. Besides, the home is where all of the rich cultural influences are developed which makes our students the unique beings they are.

My colleague, my team English language learner co-teacher and I enthusiastically took our journey and the short time we spent just sharing our “human selves” in the students’ homes proved to benefit us in a myriad of ways as the academic year progressed.

We didn’t know what to expect as we set our first appointments. Of course, we practiced calling and our requests when told flatly, “No.”

We took a few breaths and kept at it and finally had our first visit in September--we were delighted. It was different for all of us, since her older son had attended our school as well and no one had ever visited her. When we arrived at their house, she received us at the door, and welcomed us to a sofa to sit.

Our conversation began like this:

“Hi, I’m Ms. Oliver, and I just wanted to thank you for inviting us into your home and take a few minutes to get to know you and share a little bit about myself.”

I shared where I grew up in Brooklyn, NY, how long I’ve been teaching, and that I was a parent too--making my life extremely busy! After my colleagues shared her details, I asked Ms. Jason about their background, and what they did for fun on weekends as a family. He was able to show me his favorite game and went off to play with his sibling. and discuss being on the soccer team. We made certain to inquire about what questions she had for us for the upcoming year.

Honestly, we kept it that simple-- no test updates or behavior concerns at all. We just wanted to establish ourselves for who we were and agreed on how to keep in contact with each other through the school year: email, texts, phone calls, notes, etc…

Let’s say it was what I had hoped for. Finally, I hoped she would see I was on “her side” with my sincerity with her son to stay involved in his academics and beyond my classroom. I learned that he needed the extra encouragement to endure in reading, and finish writing assignments (which he hated).

After we finished our chat, we asked her son to sit with us as we concluded the visit. We ended the 25 minute meeting (yes, that brief) asking her what were her goals and dreams for him. She shared that she wanted him to do well in school, and improve his behavior. He listened to her answer. He said he couldn't wait to try out for the soccer team. Fast forward three months ahead, and I recall reminding him of her expectations during the year when he had a few difficult patches. I whispered in his ear, “I know you can finish this task, just breathe, take your time-we believe in you."

He was genuinely interested in mathematics and I was appreciative of that. My class was interactive, and with our blended learning model, he could probe into our differentiated software programs of his interest. He was grateful for the technology and so was I. During the year, I took pictures of his classwork and texted them to Ms. Jason and she was impressed. When I had to share the details of the “rough days” it made it easier for me to share and possibly, for her to accept them as well.

Since that year, I encouraged every educator to take a moment to reflect on how meeting families at the beginning of a new year could make an impact for their practice. It could turn parent communication into a positive, ongoing, relationship.

Fast forward to July, 2020, the “home visit” will definitely be “different” for everyone altogether. Maybe “virtually” as with most of our interactions now-what matters is that there is no pressure, everyone stays flexible, and both parents and educators find common ground to start their new relationship.

#ThursdayThoughts #ReopeningSchools #ParentinginaPandemic